If He Cares, Why Doesn’t He Call?

If He Cares, Why Doesn’t He Call?

By David M. Matthews

Published: November 8, 2017

In general, guys aren’t great communicators.  Once they tell you that they like you/love you/care about you, they often feel like they’ve stated their position and repetition of this would just be…repetitious.  They don’t realize that you may want/need periodic verbal reinforcement of their feelings.  They think: they told you – so you should know. 

Then if a guy gets busy with whatever is going on in his life (work, sports, friends), he feels like “he’s got it covered” – having already given you the lowdown on his feelings. 

So while you hear him say that he cares and believe that will lead to behavior consistent with what YOU deem appropriate (i.e., calling, texting, hanging out on an even more frequent basis), he may view the situation very differently. 

In his mind, his statement of feelings should relieve him of the obligation to do all of the above, because, to him, calling, texting, etc., are symbols of how he feels, and why do you need symbols when he’s already given you confirmation of what’s in his heart.

All that being said, there is a fine line between him feeling confident about your relationship and taking it for granted.  Barring certain circumstances (e.g., crunch time at work, major exams, illness or death in the family), a guy who REALLY cares for you will try as best he can to “hang out” with you as often as possible.  After all, it’s the together time that should be the most enjoyable aspect of the relationship. 

Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but togetherness cements the bonds and fans the passion.  If your guy is regularly making excuses to NOT get together with you, then THAT is a completely different situation.  In that case, something is amiss, and though he will probably hate the idea of it, the two of you need to talk – to find out if you are on the same page with your relationship.

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